Dating Coach for Introverts in San Francisco | Resources for Anxiety Interview Series with Eddie Hernandez
Eddie Hernandez is a dating coach based in San Francisco. He specializes in working with introverted people and those who have been successful in their careers and social lives but struggle with modern dating. He works with clients from major cities in the U.S. and overseas to help them uncover their biases, recognize blind spots, untangle conflicting signals from dates, and navigate dating both offline and on dating apps. He assists clients with selecting photos for their profile, wardrobe styling, communication and social skills, dating app etiquette, and date planning. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and more.
Why did you decide to become a dating coach in San Francisco?
When it comes to major life decisions, there are plenty of resources available around jobs and careers, finances, and housing decisions. But when it comes to arguably the most important area in life—dating, relationships, and finding a partner—most people don’t seek help and just wing it on their own.
Many folks wander aimlessly in their dating lives and never really examine their decisions, etiquette and expectations along the way. I have years of experience analyzing conflicting signals and ambiguous data, and asking the right questions of clients and their dates.
What kind of services do you provide?
My focus is primarily on helping clients with their photos, profile set-up and reviews, app choices, wardrobe styling, image consulting (facial hair, grooming, first impressions), communication etiquette, and date ideas. Most clients seek help with obtaining second dates, but I also offer help with unlocking blind spots in dating, recognizing patterns, and screening profiles.
How does a dating coach help people with anxiety about dating?
Many people keep their concerns, frustrations, questions, and anxieties to themselves, and rarely seek help from others or even talk about their dating lives with family, friends, or colleagues. In most cases, I am the first person the client has spoken to about their separation, divorce, or dating profiles. Many folks tend to internalize their fears and assume their situation is unique to them, and my job is to let them know their obstacles, concerns, and nervousness is very common. Most people don’t openly discuss their problems, which leads them to think something is wrong with them, or that they’re the only ones experiencing these occurrences.
Who are your favorite types of clients to work with?
My favorite clients are those who are driven, willing to listen, and who treat our relationship as a partnership, rather than someone they are trying to outsource their dating life to. Most of my clients range in age from 25-65, live in or close to major cities in the U.S. and internationally, and are brand new to dating or are re-entering the dating pool due to a divorce, death of a partner, or break-up.
What happens during a first appointment with you?
I first invite clients to fill out a questionnaire so I can see what’s going on in their lives, if they’re ready to put in the work, and evaluate what they’ve done so far to address concerns with their dating lives. In some cases, I am not qualified to help out or do not offer the services the client needs. In this case, I will point them to other resources. If I think there is a good mutual fit and that I am able to help, I will then set up an introduction call to learn more, make recommendations around next steps, and collect additional info to help me research their situation.
What do you wish people who are seeking secure and healthy relationships knew about coaching with you or about dating coaching in general?
Many people are facing the same problems and fears you are, and spend years struggling before they seek help. But just because no one is talking about it doesn’t mean it’s not common. People seek help all the time, whether it’s for a handyman for work around the house, a career coach to help with resumes and interviews, financial planners to buy a home, or help planning for the future. Luckily, the stigma around asking for help with dating lives has drastically reduced over the years, and will continue to do so as more and more people speak openly and candidly about their situations.
How should people contact you for your services?
The best way to get in touch with me is to send a note through the contact form on my website. I am often working with clients during the day and am unable to give my full attention if reached via phone.
http://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/
Share one fun fact about you that people might not know about you.
I am a pretty nerdy guy. My background was in analytics for a tech company before I made the switch to dating coaching years ago. I can relate easily to folks in tech and engineering fields, and those that tend to overanalyze things in their lives—because I was like that myself.
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If you’re curious to learn more about how therapy in San Francisco can help with relationships, you can call Whitney Richards, LMFT at (415) 851-5125 or directly schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation. My specialties include anxiety, self-esteem, and building secure and satisfying relationships.